Queen Lou ask for first times, and this is what my muses went with.

Sorry it's like...way angsty, but I think it ends on a good note.

A ficlet for the queen!

Title: Two Firsts and a Last
Rating: PG
Pairing: Jack/Boone, Jack/Sawyer
Word Count: 428
Warnings: Character death, second person narrative
Summary: For lostsquee's luau.

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The first time Boone kisses you was also the last.

He's dying slowly, painfully, and there's nothing you can do besides sit there, watch, wait it out, let him squeeze your hand as tight as he can, like it'll alleviate the pain, share some of the burden of his impending death, but no matter how hard he squeezes it's never hard enough to transfer his agony to you.

He comes in and out of consciousness, once startlingly blue eyes now dull and glassy. He calls out for his sister, for Shannon, asks where she is, then mumbles as if in a dream, a fever-induced deliria. You try to catch these words, leaning your face down close to his, and then his lips are against yours, brushing softly as you feel the roughness of stubble and the stickiness of blood against your cheek. Before you can even decide if you're supposed to kiss him back or not, Boone pulls away. His eyes are still closed, but he's smiling softly, his features softening as in sleep.

You feel the hot sluice of tears running down your face when you realize he's gone.

The first time Sawyer kisses you, you're holding him up under the shower, shivering against his chest as you try to lower his temperature. You can feel the heat of his skin through his shirt and the cold, pounding water.

His face turns, lips brushing against yours, and it seems like an accident, you think he's too out of it and don't take it as anything, but then his mouth is back on yours. His lips feel so hot against your own and kiss you so earnestly, so demandingly, that you feel like he's trying to give you some of his fever, like he's trying to take some of the coolness from your skin. He still can't stand on his own, and the position is awkward with the way you're supporting his weight, but you kiss him back anyway, pressing him farther into the wall, the water no longer making you shiver.

You put your leg between his and grasp his arms in your hands for purchase, to keep him from slipping to the floor. You keep on kissing him until Kate returns to keep him on this side of consciousness, to let him know that he's not alone, but mostly you kiss him for a reason he could never know the reasoning behind, couldn't understand because he wasn't there and you never told anyone.

You kiss him to let him know that this wouldn't be the last.