Title: The Freshmaker
Rating: PG
Word Count: 328
Prompt: psych_30 #25 Placebo Effect
Author's Note: Table with links to other completed prompts can be found here.

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"You prescribed Tic Tacs to a six-year-old girl?"House should've known that the rapidly-approaching click of stiletto heels on the hospital floor was Cuddy chasing him down. "And the problem is...?"

"The mother wanted you to help with hyperactivity, not halitosis!"

"The mother was an idiot and wanted a comatose daughter to make her life easier. Last time I checked, running around and wanting to play was normal kid behavior. The mom should be ecstatic to have a kid that isn't playing video games all day and adding to the obesity statistics."

"You couldn't simply have told Mrs. Meunier it wasn't hyperactivity instead of giving the girl breath mints?"

"And miss out on this conversation? But I like our little talks; they help confirm my sense of belonging in the community."

Cuddy crossed her arms in front of her chest, which House knew was supposed to be intimidating, but only served to enhance her already obvious cleavage. "This is the third time this week alone I've heard of you swapping prescription medication for candy."

House pursed his lips, pretending to think deeply about what Cuddy had just said. He leaned more onto his cane, pointed up at the ceiling with his available hand, having an idea. "I vote we paint Chase, Cameron, and Foreman orange and start calling me Willy."

House felt disappointed when Cuddy didn't even bat an eye at his suggestion. "Keep that in mind next time you need a refill. I'd try Mentos if it weren't for the fact that I thought you were fresh enough." Cuddy turned on a heel and walked away, leaving House watching in the corridor, more or less in a state of stunned silence. That had actually been rather clever of her - digging on him and tying in a pop culture reference.

He started walking again in the direction of his office to hear about the blood work results on the latest case, whistling "No Limit" as he went.